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Game Day
Feb. 7th, 2010

DISCUSSION!!!

STB DRAFTS

STB TEAMS

STB PLAYERS

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STUPER-STUFF

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Mathew Froggatt's Stuperbowl Mock Draft 2005

Boys,
Once again, I think Mel was smokin' crack when he put this draft together. As always, here's the real deal:

Quarterback Rankings:
Dan Swanarrow
Gravity has caught up to this guy & if there's more than an inch of snow on the ground, say goodnight. If his receivers didn't make some quality catches last year, we wouldn't even be talking about him. Watch out for the no huddle, "Steak Queen" reverse play!!!

Norm Smyth
Very knowledgeable football guy, but so what, we're not writing a book. Speed is his weapon, but without run plays, he's just another body. Stop making picks because you feel obligated & pick to win.

Donnie Cunningham
Should be ranked #1 in my books. Except for not hitting his wide-open star-receiver in the end-zone last year, his day was incredible. Look for big things from Donnie.

Alex MacPhee:
I agree with Mel about the suspect accuracy of Alex...this guy couldn't hit water if he fell out of a boat. He'll be turning-taps before lunch.

Player Rankings:
#1 Derek Smith
Are you kiddin' me? This guy hasn't made an impact at the Stuperbowl since Michael Jackson was black. Top-5 maybe based on potential, but is quickly turning into a 1-year wonder. Hey Mel: Lay-off the windshield fluid!

#2 Rob Davidson:
Another suspect ranking to say the least. As an Irishman, he'll be lucky to see straight let alone catch a ball. Get bent Mel.

#3 Stephan Koechlin:
One word: unbelievable! How does a guy lay an egg for 2 years & still remain in the top 3? According to Mel, this guy "Will be a big threat underneath.." Underneath what?...the blankets on his couch maybe, but not on a football field. Injury-prone, soft & sucks at wrestling in hotel rooms. Great road-trip guy though!!!

#4 Andrew Arsenou:
Andrew Arsen-who? How does a guy I can't even remember end up in the top 5?

#5 Mark Cameron:
The "John Daly" of the Stuperbowl! Doesn't look the part but Mark had a huge day last year. As long as the lbs' stayed away in the off-season, Mark should have another fine day, if not, pass the gravy!

#6 Mike Wiseman:
I expected big things from this guy last year as well, but to no avail. On turf, his speed would kill, but in snow, forget about it. Stick to hockey & modeling.

#7 Matt Froggatt:
A "total debacle" best describes this guy being ranked 7th. Aside from an unbelievable attempt, but errant, incomplete pass in last year's championship game, this guy was Mr. Stuperbowl & the unanimous MVP. He will undoubtedly be back in action come game day & be a force like no other.

#8 Scott Owen:
Good size, but not as big as his ego. Weight could be an issue as this guy packs away food like Oprah at The Mandarin. Although, he did score the winning TD in last year's championship game, while stepping out of bounds, Scott has simply peaked and will be driven to the Stuperbowl graveyard before long.

#9 Brian Dunham:
This guy is ranked too low as well. Brian is the strong & silent type on the field, but his contributions don't go unnoticed by the scouts. Look for Brian to have many good plays and many 50's all day long!!!

#10 Dave Butt:
A glaring mistake by far. Another one-hit wonder that has fallen quicker than Al Roker on a greasy flag-pole. He may have an average day if his AA sponsor accompanies him to the game, if not, look for him at the bar, while dry-humping a midget!

#11 Tim Horton:
Tim was an unknown coming into last year's games, but quickly made a name for himself with many solid catches and big plays. Look for a huge day from Tim this year. Bring a baker's dozen as well.

#12 Ken Diamond:
Hard to knock a guy who was injured last year, but still played his heart out. (Note: Paul & Steph) A great teammate and knows the game. If healthy, look for a strong day. Gain some weight & get a tan too.

#13 Justin Adamo:
This guy's dropped more balls than the 6/49 lotto dispenser. Without stick em' or a good set of gloves, he could be in for a long day again.

#14 Murray Macken:
Another pick that seems a little low. Size & athleticism should be rewarded more than his rank indicates. After an above-average debut last year, Murray should come out of the gate firing on all cylinders. If not, he's still a nice guy.

#15 Paul Simon:
No idea, don't know him. My wife's parents love your music though...bet you've never heard that one huh? Welcome to the best day of the year!!!

#16 Darren Bone:
A.K.A. Eggs says it all! This guy is so fragile, he actually has to carry a body-anchor on windy days. However, with his speed and a little added toughness, Darren could someday play with the men. Until then, learn to play bridge and continue using Keri-lotion.

#17 Ryan Tustin:
Again...no idea, but if you're ranked this low, there must be room for improvement. Go get 'em tiger!

#18 James McCulloch:
Yet again, another pick that is ranked a little too low. James has all the tools to be a top 10 pick, but is still no Matt Froggatt. Last year may have been an oddity, so look for a huge day from James.

#19 Niall Smyth:
Has the body of chess-player & the skin-tone of Lilith from Cheers. However, if he were as big as his heart, he still only be about 5' 7". Anyway, Niall is as determined as anyone out there & will continue to improve. Look for Julie to sub-in after the first game.

#20 Jerome Adamo:
What can you say about a Bills fan? Not much! Some believe Jerome will be a different player due to him quitting the wacky tobbacky, but that's like saying Paul quit drinking beer! Regardless, Jerome gives it his all and can create the big play every now & then.

#21 Brad Turpin:
What does it say when Brad has slipped down 12 spots in the rankings from last year? That's right...he was ranked far too high last year. Unless there's a hot-dog stand nearby, you can forget about Brad even showing up. With his size & that baby-soft skin, Brad won't be a factor in any game whatsoever!

#22 Paul Girard:
Scotch-tape is all that's holding this guy together. After pulling his man-gina for the last 2 years, Paul comes back to the game with absolutely no hope in having an impact at all. Bring lots of beer...you can cook the dogs.

#23 David Yoshida:
Last time I checked, we were playing football, not Blackjack. Known for his gambling ways, you can easily put money on that David will be brutal once again. A nice, mild-mannered guy away from the field, David is a good teammate and will add motivation to an under-achieving boys scout troop, but not a football team.

#24 Dan Clark:
No idea...have fun & take off Monday from work!